A wise man gave me a piece of advice a long time ago and has stuck with me ever since. “More is caught than taught, Jason.”
Every man should remember that one day his son will follow his example, not necessarily his advice. As I look at my fourth son lying in his cradle, I am reminded of why he is looking up at me. I am his example. I am what he knows. I am his role model. I am the man in his life that will teach him how to be a strong and courageous man. I am his measuring stick. I am the one that will point him to Christ. I am the one that will instruct, correct, and love him through it.
Every single day that I look into my children’s eyes, I am so grateful for the man who raised me. As a boy, I saw life through the way my dad shaped it. He continues to love my mother dearly and his house is in order. He loves my brother and me unconditionally and there is not a day I take that for granted.
Raising children is hard work, but it is fruitful. These kids have shaped the man I am today, and continue to challenge me to have the right response to them. My boys watch how I handle adversity. And I know I am giving my daughters an idea of what it is like to be married when I am loving their mother. Am I giving them a good representation of who Christ is through my responses to my wife? Am I showing my boys what true manhood looks like? Am I patient, am I tender-hearted, do I have a forgiving spirit? What are my children “catching” from me? What are your children “catching” from you?
Be encouraged to know that none of us have this mastered and biblical manhood is a process. I ask my wife every day if she could be patient with me because God isn’t finished with me yet. 🙂 Remember, your children are watching you and the things they are “catching” from you will be who they understand our Father in heaven to be. We represent Him and we shape our children’s view of who a holy God to be.
Men, if you struggle in your anger, they will see God as an unrighteous, angry God who only rules with an iron fist. But if fathers are tender, patient, sacrificing, self-less, humble, asking for forgiveness often, they will see Christ as such. More is caught than taught dad. Let us model the behavior we intend to teach. Let us not be hypocritical. This doesn’t mean we don’t teach and train; it means we come along side our families with humility and do life with them.
Jason