Let me begin by saying I love my boys. I love watching them learn, explore the world around them, and I even love the way they communicate with each other. There is such a God given, driving force in my boys that puts a smile on my face. It makes me want to find an adventure and take them with me.
But if you were to ask me to describe my girls… well, you better grab a cup of coffee and settle in because we are going to be here awhile.
Aside from God’s love, the greatest gift God gave to Adam was Eve. And aside from salvation, the greatest gift God has given me is my wife, Natalie. Having daughters is like having mini Natalies running around the house. Each are beautiful because they bear the image of their mother (and God) but they possess something extra. They have not acquired the wisdom and restraint that their mother has. But they are very curious, tender, and emotionally connected at such a young age. They have a strong desire to communicate, and most of all they look to their fathers for safety, protection, and validation.
One of the roles and responsibilities of being a father is to come to the realization that our children’s view of God parallels their view of their earthly father. That is, your early understanding of God is directly influenced by how you viewed your earthly father. If you are a dominating, angry, authoritative father, then your children will view God as an “overlord” with tyrannical tendencies. They will have to spend a lot of time pouring through the scriptures to redefine a God that more closely resembles the God of the Bible. They will have misconceptions about the divine attributes of God because what they saw growing up did not look anything like the God that patiently delivered His people out of slavery, or laid down His life for His people.
So as fathers, we need to do everything possible to provide our children with an accurate representation of God’s love. We are not their savior, but we are the closest person this side of heaven to teach them their need for a Savior, and to role-model Christlike character in the home.
One of the ways we can speak into the heart of our children can be found in the things we value and the things in which we put emphasis. I would like to take just a moment to share with you how we try and teach our girls to value something near and dear to God.
Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
The desire for purity is a cornerstone of the Christian faith. Purity is also something God commands if you are going to walk the narrow way.
The concept of purity is in every one of the 10 commandments. However, most people equate purity rings with virginity. While there is a close connection between purity and virginity, the concept of purity is more closely aligned with the gospel. Isn’t that why we are able to stand before God without condemnation? Jesus paid the price for our sins, purifying us on Calvary, and we no longer have to bear the judgement and wrath of God.
The way in which we teach our girls about purity is through purity rings. I know there are a lot of opinions about the use and emphasis of purity rings. As long as you understand that purity rings are a symbol, and not a requirement for purity, the major arguments against purity rings can be dismissed.
Do any of us really think that wearing a wedding ring prevents people from having extramarital affairs? Or do any of us think that married people can never go without wearing their wedding rings… that they have somehow defiled their marriage because they took their ring off to wash their hands? As long as we agree that a purity ring is just a symbol, then we can put away those divisive arguments that are no doubt an agenda from Satan.
For our family, purity rings are simply a symbol of something that God values. Purity rings represent the gospel. They symbolize that we desire to put God ahead of anything else, namely our bodily desires, our lusts, or even our own selfish ambitions. Scripture gives countless commands to keep our body and mind pure. We should do everything we can to help our daughters (and sons) remember this point of emphasis.
In fact, I will go as far as to say that if you are not emphasizing this to your children, then you are derelict in your duties as a father. I am not saying that you have to emphasize purity rings. I am simply heralding you to teach your children about the things God loves. And God loves purity.
I was blessed with a grandfather who loved to go rock hunting. We would take trips every summer with Granddad and Grandmother out west. I can remember driving to the middle of no-where, getting out of the car with picks and shovels, and digging along the side of the road for rocks. We would load up agates, geodes, and nodules in the trunk of his four-door Buick and drive them back to Missouri. We would then begin the process of cutting them in half and polishing them.
One of the things that also came along with my grandfather’s love for rocks was the making of rings. My grandfather essentially taught my dad how to cast rings using the “lost wax” method. This process has become a family tradition that I have had the privilege to pass down to my sons. I have found that this process is a great tool for teaching Biblical truths.
We discuss the value of God, the importance of purifying and refining the gold (Proverbs 25:4) the hardness of metals and how iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17) how the mold defines the shape of the gold (Exodus 25:12) how the potter shapes the clay (Isaiah 64:8). The lessons are almost inexhaustible.
Once the ring is completed, Natalie and I then take our special girl out on a date to present her with the ring. This sweet night of fellowship is typically accompanied with tears of joy, and some deep conversations about the significance of the ring. Emphasis is placed not on the value of the ring itself, but on the value of what the ring signifies.
I want to encourage you to make all the relationships in your family significant. This does not require some elaborate tools or resources. It does not even require the giving of gifts. There are many creative ways to reinforce the things God values.
It can be a simple letter. It can be a scheduled outing. Or it can just be spending quality time. Whatever resources God has given you, make every moment count, because I can’t believe she is already 16!
I have a video posted here if you are interested to see how my dad and I casted my daughters’ rings.
I would love to hear your ideas for the things you do in your home to honor purity.
Also, if you have any suggestions on how to improve my technique on casting these rings, please let me know in the comments below this video.
Jason
Malachi 4:6