Bringing Life Into This World is Beautiful
When you share such an intimate moment with someone, such as bringing a life into the world, it should form a bond like no other. For me, it brings comfort to my spirit that my husband is beside me during labor. My midwife is a very dear friend and has been such an encouragement to me along this journey of bringing our babies into this world. The joy of birthing at home is having my children surround us at the moment of birth. My girls love being a part of their baby sister or brother’s entrance into this world. It is such a precious moment that is never forgotten by any of us who watch a tiny human take their first breath this side of heaven. It shapes how our children value life, it shapes how they look at the miracle of birth, and they appreciate the hard work we all put into the preparation of the home in the weeks leading up to the baby’s arrival so we all can celebrate this tiny life before us.
I didn’t always birth at home. My first five were hospital births. The births following that have all been birthed at home and I thrive in this environment. Series of events leading up to our fourth is what took us on a new journey to decide an alternative birthing option and this was the best option for our family. My husband loves being at home in a calm atmosphere helping getting our bedroom prepared for our baby’s welcoming home moment. I love the freedom to walk around during labor in the quiet, and birth how I need to so I progress faster. Whether I deliver the baby on our bed or in a birthing pool, we just take each birth one at a time because they all have their own unique story. It’s been a road less traveled for many, and I want to reiterate that it may not be for everyone and that is okay. Those decisions are best left up to you and your husband to explore all of your options, and what will be best for mother and baby.
Since birthing at home, it has been very calm and serene with very little drama involved. It has been a drastic change from my experiences in a hospital setting. We purposely set up our bedroom to make it labor-friendly and relaxing as possible. None the less, it is labor and it is always hard work. Having a plan of freezing meals and gearing up the children for the grand event is always the highlight of my last few weeks of pregnancy. I’m not sure who anticipates it more, them or me? We hope you find the sweetness in these photos and a comfort to anyone who is debating on whether or not home-birthing is right for your family. I assure you the pain experienced was worth every second of the joy that comes along with looking into the face of each baby.
With this particular birth, we were planning on packing our bus to head to Arkansas for a wedding over 4th of July weekend. We had the whole weekend planned on how we were going to accomplish all there was to do before heading out. I was wanting to mow the lawn early that morning rather than pulling weeds from the garden, or cleaning the chicken coop. It was so hot out, and I figured I could stay hydrated and not get too overheated if I sat to mow. The plan was set and I spent most of the day cutting both fields and the yard where the kids play. I finished up, parked, and looked at my watch. Straight up 5 p.m. Time for supper! I lifted my toddler off my lap and I grabbed the mower keys. As I lifted my pregnant self off the mower to head back to the house, I felt a gush of water trickle down my leg. I looked down with very round eyes. I was pretty sure that my water had broken! I was only 38 weeks and this could not be happening today! I had too much left undone! We still needed to pack the bus! My thoughts were everywhere. I was used to at least another 3-4 weeks of pregnancy! I had a few minutes before I would reach the house to tell Jason, so I was quietly thinking about all that needed to be done for the evening meal and baths. Jason was in the garage doing a project with the kids. One of my older daughters must have observed the look on my face because she asked what I was thinking. I just smiled and looked at Jason and said, “I think we are going to have a baby tonight because my water just broke.” He smiled, started with the next step of getting everyone fed, and bathed while I called my midwife. It was like clockwork.
Of course she said, “That doesn’t sound like you. You always go past 40 weeks!” None-the-less she said she would get packed up and head my way. She was going to call my (to-be midwife) friend to come with her, but she just so happened to go into labor that very evening as well… AND 38 weeks! How crazy is that? The change of plans ended up working out quite nicely. Robyn, my midwife, brought her long time friend, Veda, which I had never met. She is a mother of 6 and the most patient, gentle, and kind woman, and she just so happens to be a professional photographer. She is credited for taking these photos. God knew what He was doing.
Within 3 hours of my water breaking, my contractions were picking up pretty consistent and painful enough that I needed to concentrate on breathing in the quiet. Jason tucked the little ones in bed and I headed to the porch to relax in my rocker. The quiet of the evening was just what I needed. Nature was all I heard. I prayed quietly through each contraction asking God to make this go as fast as possible. I reached out to our church prayer chain to pray that this birth goes smooth and without intervention. I eventually retired to my bedside to labor for the next many many hours. I eventually stood up to change positions in hopes of nearing the end. Once I got to a point where I was too weak to stand and labor, I got into the birthing pool to ease some of my back pain. Each time I labor, I feel like I need the warmth of the water. I typically have terrible back pain because my babies prefer to be in a posterior position until the last part of labor, which is the hardest position on mama. Poor Jason had a mark on his finger behind his wedding ring because I squeezed his hand so tight.
My sweet husband is a merciful man. He’s patient with me. He is full of encouragement when I say I can not take the pain any longer. He is long-suffering right along with me. He gives of himself when he probably doesn’t feel like it. He chooses to be sleep deprived as he walks through the entire labor process with me. He is the best labor and delivery coach a girl could ask for.
I didn’t understand why my contractions were consistent enough but dilation wasn’t progressing at the same pace. I thought maybe the pool water was slowing the transition of baby. I wasn’t feeling the baby move down into position and that told me this was going to be a long night. Baby was not turning and just hanging out happily while I labored and labored. Soon, my hours and hours of contractions being 4-5 minutes apart turned into 15-20 minutes apart. Even though I welcomed the breaks, I just wanted to be done. Robyn and Veda tried to get me to move to different positions to make things progress, but the pain was so great I felt I needed to stay in the warmth of the water. She patiently waited, listened to baby’s heartbeat, and encouraged me along the way.
I lost track of the time after 2 a.m. I literally labored and labored through the next morning. I heard Jason softly say to me, “I hear the birds Natalie.” In our neck of the woods, we have song birds that come out chirping and singing right before daybreak. I looked over to my left and saw the faintest crack of light coming through the side of the blind from our bedroom window. I had no idea it was almost 6 a.m. I became frustrated. My little ones were going to be awake soon and I still haven’t delivered this baby. I could not understand what was happening and why things were taking so long. Everyone was quiet in the room and all eyes were on me. I looked up out of desperation at Robyn and said, “What do I need to do?” and her gentle words were, “Let me help you.” I’ll never forget the relief I felt in my heart at that moment. I realized this whole time I wasn’t allowing anyone to help me. I guess I thought since I had delivered 9 other times that I could do this too. She happily got into the pool with me and intervened to help baby progress. (IF you are seriously interested in this part because you would like to be prepared during a home birth, then you may contact me and I can go into more detail with you there.)
It is a beautiful thing when your daughters can be a part of this process. They were rubbing the sleep out of their eyes when this picture was taken. The sun hadn’t quite come up yet and I was about 40 minutes out from holding my newborn.
Once Robyn intervened at 6 a.m., I dilated from a 4 to a 10 and we had a baby here at 6:28 a.m. What?! 28 minutes later? Yes, Robyn is amazing. She is a mother of 11 and has delivered hundreds and hundreds of babies. It helps to have a veteran mother and midwife that knows what to do in times of exhaustion, desperation, or emergency. I am so thankful for her knowledge and patience. Sometimes in labor, I become too exhausted to know what I really need. I learned that I need to trust the people around me, and surrender… surrender every fear, every expectation, and doubt that I had. And in those moments of strength, I just wanted to hold my baby and I was willing to do whatever she asked of me… and that is exactly what I did. I still can not believe we had her here in 28 minutes.
We did find out why this precious baby would not come down on her own. She had both her hands up by her face and neck, and simply chose not to move them. Because of that her hands became a wedge, and she would not and could not move to the next stage. The most incredible feeling was when the intervention started and I was doing exactly as she stated. I felt this giant child come down, come down, come down, and felt her crown. Every bit of what I was doing I knew was working. Oh it was painful, but I was so focused on getting her here that I had to set aside how I felt in the moment. I didn’t realize the people around me could be of help like they were. I thought I had to do this hard thing on my own, but how wrong I was.
I later asked Robyn what would have happened if you didn’t help me progress and she said that if you were in a hospital setting, they would have taken you C-section. That 28 minute period of time was worth every bit of the pain and I would do it again if it meant that I would have a gentle birth.
I am in awe of the miracle birth really is!
Welcome to our family sweet girl. You have already been so loved. I can not wait to see who God made you to be and what adventures we will take together in this lifetime! Your very life is precious to me.
Your Mommy