It was once said that we are living out the best years of our lives and we don’t even know it yet.
Natalie and I have raised children long enough to know the truth of that statement. And we have found great joy in raising our children.
When we were first married we made a list of goals, and one of our heart’s desires were to create an atmosphere of joy in our home as much as we possibly could. At the time, we didn’t know quite what that would look like, but as we studied God’s Word, we found Him to be our true source of joy no matter the season of life.
There have been seasons in our lives where it was easy to rejoice in the journey, like experiencing the excitement of having another little baby in our arms to care for. The joyous times create an effortless environment to rejoice in, doesn’t it?
There also have been other seasons in life where we have had to create joy, like on rainy days or in the long winter months. When I think about how temporal the “rainy days” of life are, I am reminded that my joy comes from knowing Jesus, not in my current circumstance. I find joy in reading the Bible aloud to my family, building with my boys, or helping them learn a life skill. For Natalie, it may be something as simple as taking a nature hike with the children, reading a good book with our toddlers, or showing our older daughters how to get a good rise from sourdough bread.
During those “rainy” seasons of life, it helps us to be reminded of an eternal perspective instead of focusing on the temporal. This life is so short; you don’t want to miss the opportunities in front of you that bring joy to your home. We are promised in scripture we will have struggles in this lifetime. The question is, how are we going to respond to what life brings? Whether or not our circumstances are something to celebrate or give us much grief, our children are learning how to respond to life through our eyes.
Often, joy and happiness are spoken as one in the same, but there is a huge difference between the two according to God. The world will tell you happiness comes from things that happen to you. And if all goes well, then life must be good, right? If things are not going well, then the mood quickly shifts to frustration or irritation.
My challenge to my children is this: Joy is contagious. Walk into a room with a joyful heart and you will see others light up with smiles. Joy truly is the inner peace we have that God freely gives. That peace sustains us through life’s happenings that sometimes are wrapped up in disappointment. This is why we have to choose joy each day so that we are able to rest in having the peace that passes all understanding.
Isaiah 26:3
I want my children to be mindful what they find their joy in. When they were all little and not a lot of help with household chores, Natalie would find little things to sustain her joy during those long hours of homeschool days while I was at work. She found a mug she liked to make hot tea in or a special snack that was set aside just for her during the naptime hour. What she learned in that season of life was she tried finding joy in those temporal things instead of going straight to the Word for her rest and comfort. I too have been guilty of the same things.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with treating ourselves to things we enjoy, but I have to remind myself not to place anything ahead of spending time with a holy God.
Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and Galatians 5:22 tells us when we walk in the spirit, joy comes as a result. We need to be demonstrating this walk, so that our joy is evident to our children.
The first time I (Natalie) attended a theologically sound church was when I was 18 years old. A deacon from this church literally walked around smiling 100% of the time. I had assumed this man didn’t have any problems, or maybe life had treated him pretty well. I really didn’t know. I had never seen someone so happy.
I grew up observing that your happiness depended on the things that happened to you, therefore, I was really confused by this man’s countenance. I just knew that no one could possibly be that “happy.” Weren’t there times of pain and sadness? Hasn’t he ever faced disappointment? Was he ever weary? I really did not understand what true joy was, but I was determined to find it.
What I have learned over the years from experiencing disappointment or pain is I do not believe it’s hypocritical to smile and be sweet if you genuinely intend to be a blessing in others lives.
On the flip side, I do not think it is wise to act bubbly and stuff how we feel about a hardship that we are facing. There was a time in my life that Natalie and I had to reach out to the Body of Christ. We needed prayer for something tough we faced, and bearing one another’s burdens is what Christians should do for one another.
I don’t always believe it is the healthiest to share every detail of what you are going through, and having good boundaries in this area helps to know what should or should not be shared.
Natalie and I have found it very valuable to be a blessing to someone else who may be struggling. When we have the resources to offer, much joy came from lending a hand to someone who really needed Christ during their crisis.
It is easy to drown in the lies of Satan and have him use the adversities we face to stop us from being a vessel. We need to be looking at adversities as a beautiful thing because we have God’s perspective through scripture. We need to be claiming His Words of healing over sickness, His forgiveness from our sins, His comfort when we are weary, His guidance when we are directionless, and His strength when we have no joy.
I want to encourage all families to stay the course, ride out the storms, and come together as a team. It is so important to produce the right fruit in times of adversities because your children are learning through your responses.
We have had way more joy in our home than we have had storms. Just remember the storms are short lived and never last longer than God allows them to. “…Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
Some of the things we find helpful that bring a smile to our home:
Reading missionary biographies out loud teaches perseverance
Playing music throughout the entire home brings calmness
Playing instruments and singing together brings family harmony
Choosing to see the good in each situation that arises brings gratefulness
Laugh a lot as a family, it is a medicine
Having an eternal perspective brings much joy
Having the right response to afflictions causes us to draw near to Him
Having humility when reproofs come allows patience
Anchoring ourselves in the Word of God each morning as a family brings hope
Learning from biblical heroes of the faith brings perspective
Serving others before ourselves brings joy
Being reminded God does all things well brings peace
Equipping ourselves with the Armor of God brings confidence and boldness
Fellowshipping with like-minded believers provides encouragement
Having a family ministry gives purpose
The quote “As the family goes, so goes the nation…” cannot ring more true. Natalie and I pray for families every day. We stand with you. We support you. We understand life isn’t always what you thought it may look like, but we pray you find much delight in raising a family for the Lord. I promise you this journey is worth it. You have to be willing to fight the good fight, and you will come out stronger on the other side.
Remember our walk with Christ is a process. God is in the process of sanctifying us all by using our current circumstances to grow us closer to Him.
May God bless you and your family,
Jason and Natalie