As Goes The Father, So Goes The Family
“As goes the father, so goes the family.”
I enjoy capturing little moments of our lives to keep them tucked away in my memory bank. And when I snapped this photo Sunday morning, this phrase came to mind.
We were getting ready to serve musically and Jason was praying for this time to be a blessing to others, and that their musical gifting would glorify God at all times.
I thought, “I’m so comforted by his prayers and leadership in our family.”
No, I don’t place high stakes on Jason carrying the weight of our kids’ salvation, but I do believe that fathers hold the key to guiding and directing the family.
Yes, mothers have a huge influence. Both are equally vital to the family unit.
Anyone without leadership in their home understands how important male figures are. They provide, protect, sacrifice, and so much more. The way a father leads in his home has far-reaching implications, more than we realize in the moment.
Most often, we will not see the fruit of our labors until much later on in life. (Gal. 6:9)
Most of my adult life, I’ve studied and contemplated on roles within the home.
I’ve seen families crumble under the weight of authoritarianism (lording over) and worse, parental neglect.
I have seen women in despair, searching for answers when their husband is directionless, or emotionally unavailable. I’ve sat across the table from women who are weary and cry out to God for spiritual leadership in their lives.
We’ve also seen the light bulb turn on for men when they understand the privilege it is to be their family’s guide on this life-long journey.
We’ve seen depression turn into a hunger for righteousness. We’ve watched grievances be used for motivation to never return back into the people we once were. We’ve witnessed men’s hearts be softened toward their wives and grace extended to their children.
We’ve seen those same men have a new understanding of what it means to disciple, and faithfully lead with much care and concern over the well-being of their families.
Transformations of the heart is what God does!
The command to love your wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25) and to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4) is how God teaches us what this daily practice looks like.
Our life didn’t always look like this photo you see now. We didn’t know how to pray as a couple. We weren’t taught how to apply scripture to our everyday lives. Discipleship was a foreign concept.
Jason and I will be the first ones to tell you that this journey has been a long one, but one that we were committed to being on for the long haul. Having scripture be our guidebook has taught us the kind of people we want to be.
Part of my journey has taken me down the path of learning how to have the right response when things get hard. I’ve spent much time praying for my husband for the weight he bears so I don’t have to. I have seen him grow leaps and bounds because he purposed to do what is right.
If you are a wife who finds herself in a place of despair or weariness, do not lose hope. Hope exists in the faith we have in Christ, not in our husband. We are just as flawed as he is. Be on your knees and cry out to the Lord, for He hears our prayers.
If you are a child of an unbelieving father, stay the course. Do what is right. Pray for him. Honor him in ways that you are able while under his roof. I’m not asking you to honor his sin. I’m asking you to honor the man God created him to be, even if he isn’t that today.
And if you are a wife or child of a believing man, praise him for being intentional and being humble enough to hear God’s call upon his life as the spiritual leader of your family.
If we mothers are to shape the thinking of this next generation, I want to encourage you to model reverence for the Lord in your home. Children are watching. I encourage you to carry out these tasks with faith and confidence because the Christ that lives within us is Who changes the world, one home at a time.
“And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Malachi 4:6
“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
Much Love,
Natalie