Today I had the privilege to spend some time with a smaller group of young wives and mothers. It’s one of my very favorite things to do, outside of investing in my family. Even though I don’t feel like I am very much older than these women, my desire is to pass on anything I have learned, made a mistake in, or have wisdom in a certain area that would be helpful to another.
During my time with these lovely young women, I quoted Pastor Adrian Rogers. His words were, “Satan wants to war against the family because the family is the only part of the Garden of Eden that we have left.” It stirred up a healthy and very beneficial dialogue among us and became a blessing for many.
I listened intently to these women discuss their circumstances in life. Towards the end, I saw one particular, very frustrated, expectant mother of two little ones under the age of three. The sadness was evident on her face as she burst into tears. My heart hurt for her in her confusion of the responsibilities she was trying to juggle within her home, and outside her family. She was taking on too much and was completely overwhelmed.
I understood her because I once was her.
I ended up asking this question to the entire group.
“Have you ever sacrificed the daily things that fill your cup as a woman, a wife, a mother, etc. for those “greater” goals and dreams you may have?”
I really believe that sacrifices and the things we surrender daily are a wonderful thing because it is what causes us to grow.
God wants us to grow. He doesn’t want us to sit back and get comfortable with the wrong things. But when we do, God will sometimes use afflictions or difficulties to bring us to the point of feeling discomfort in one way or another. Surrendering isn’t easy for any of us, but sacrificing what we think is best for His best is where God wants our hearts to be.
My point in asking this question as a group was this: There are times I see young mothers overlook those daily disciples or miss the investment with their child because they dream beyond the scope of their family, essentially missing what is right in front of them.
They put so much pressure upon themselves to juggle the responsibilities of their children, duties of their home, to be able to earn a second income, and extra outside pressures calling them, let alone having enough time and energy to spend a moment alone with their husbands.
Over time, those expectations they have set for themselves, or for the future of their family, causes them a lot of frustration and disappointment. That standard may not be what God has for them in this season of life, but because they have been conditioned to do what society defines as success, women can easily fall into those pressures to “do it all.”
We see it in our culture all the time, but those goals and aspirations may not be attainable in this season with toddlers and babies.
Now, with that said, I am a high achiever. I love to set goals and make a plan on how to reach them. But what I have learned on this journey is to create an atmosphere of the things that bring my home the most peace and joy, so I have the ability to balance those daily goals within my role as a woman who loves Jesus, Jason, and all my children.
They come first in my life.
They are what fills my cup each day.
I love pouring into those who are also a part of my life outside the four walls of my home: my friendships, women I love to encourage through ministry, my neighbors, the church body, etc., but it is vital for me to be present in the lives of my family first so I don’t lose the perspective of who God needs me to be for them.
Our families deserve to have the best, and the first of our energies. It doesn’t mean I don’t need a break or a breather every now and then to recharge my battery. I understand it’s a season of my life that goes by so fast.
Some simple examples that recharge me are: picking a bouquet of wild flowers and making it the centerpiece at the dining table and making supper in my favorite apron both paints a picture of homemaking for me. I add to that by creating spaces in my home that are bright, clean, and cheery. I invite my children into those spaces to read or talk. Bringing my children into the kitchen to help prepare the menu and bake when we have friends over satisfies a desire to connect with those around me.
These things fill my soul.
I have to remind myself to build upon the little things in life every single day: singing while baking bread with my girls, playing four-square with my boys, and how to help the home flow smoothly so that when daddy comes home, peace is what he enjoys. It’s those small incremental steps that we purpose to do every day that will make the biggest difference long term.
I encourage you to find what fills you as a Christian woman, a wife, a mommy, and a keeper of your home. This is where you will find the most peace, rest, and contentment. And it is also where God will do His best work in your heart.
For that sweet young mother who was discouraged, we huddled around her. We talked, we brainstormed, and we prayed. She left our group with a new perspective and vigor for who she was to her family. She felt the joy only Christ can give in a situation like that. And as her friend, she filled my cup that afternoon as I watched her leave with a smile. God is our portion.
When we allow ourselves to be driven by a bigger agenda, or a goal that we may have set too high in this season of life, it can really steal our joy. Joy is so important to have within the realms of our lives and relationships. Joy is what fills us.
Don’t allow your peace to be stolen by being goal driven in the wrong areas. Ensure that your joy stays consistent by saying no to outside pressures, and evaluate those daily steps God has set before you so you can build upon that.
So be encouraged to walk the path that the Lord has set right in front you, not the path someone else says you need to.
The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot. The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage. I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Psalm 16:5-11
Blessings on a beautiful day,
Natalie