Staying Connected

birthday date night

How do we stay connected with one another?  It seemed a little easier to do when we dated.  But life happens.  Our time becomes limited, and you can find yourself being stretched in areas you didn’t know were possible.  The needs seem to be greater and greater with each passing year, and shutting the noise off has become a welcoming thought. 

It’s easy to let life get in the way and distract us from connecting with one another.  So how do we avoid the disconnect?  

We remember, recognize, and reminisce, not necessarily in that order though.

Remembering what our spouse means to the family, reminiscing on our history together, and recognizing that if we don’t spend the time now investing in each other, our relationship will eventually suffer.  Neither of us want that, so the work has to be put in today.

my first home birth

Those whom have gone before us, and fought side by side for the cause of marriage and family are the ones we look to as faithful examples.  Learning from the faithful people of the past helps us be grateful in the present.  

I think of the Puritans when I consider who were faithful.  They were God-fearing, a devout group of people, who gave up everything they had for the sake of the same vision, God, marriage, and family.  They rejected the world’s distractions, the influence, and the tyranny that came along with not conforming to the pressures of society.

a very young version of us

There were lots of trials and tribulations, but they continued to display such resilience along the way.  They believed in the institutions that were established by God in the garden.  In fact, this was one of the reasons why the Native Americans did not slaughter the first set of Pilgrims of 1620.  The natives had been observing them for quite some time, and it is recorded that they found the way the Pilgrim men treated their wives and children was noble.

I sometimes wonder about how those families connected and stayed the course in such turbulent times.  We have become a soft society, and that comfortability can lend itself to laziness in relationships.  For this reason, we have to work on connecting and communicating with each other. 

7 kids later

So, let’s get back to the 3 R’s: remembering, recognizing, and reminiscing.  Remembering why you were drawn to your spouse is a good place to start.  During the day when Jason works outside the house, I miss him.  I will make mental notes about the things I appreciate about him, recognizing how much he has grown in certain areas, who he represents to our children, and all the memories we have made together.  I have a history with this man, and reminiscing helps me connect in ways I could not do with any other person. 

In the 1828 Wester’s dictionary, remembrance means:   The retaining or having in mind an idea which had been present before, transmission of a fact from one to another, account preserved; something to assist the memory.  I appreciate each one of these descriptions. 

When I can recall what I value in Jason, and thinking about the life we have built together, makes me all the more grateful for the kind of man he is, how hard he works to provide for our family, and that we get to call him ours.

2025 version of us

I listed some examples below of some connecting date-night, memory making ideas.  This list isn’t exhaustive, but I hope it is motivating.  Happy Connecting!

  1. Pack a Picnic
  2. Pick Apples at an Orchard
  3. Window Shopping
  4. Go To Estate Sales
  5. Knife or Ax Throwing
  6. Bike Riding
  7. Botanical Gardens
  8. Foot or Back Rubs
  9. Make Candles
  10. Make Homemade Gifts for Others
  11. Camping
  12. Read the Same Book
  13. Make Homemade Ice-cream
  14. Put Together a Puzzle
  15. Do a Home Improvement Project Together (This one will make or break you!)
  16. Cook Together
  17. Make a Dessert and Hot Coffee at Home and Take it With You
  18. Visit Local Museums
  19. Hiking Adventures
  20. Scavenger Hunts
  21. Campfires
  22. Sunset Watching
  23. Antique Shopping
  24. Walk to City Water Fountains or Small-Town Squares
  25. Kayak or Canoeing
  26. Ice Skating
  27. Go for a Quiet Walk in Nature

While you are spending alone time together, remember the memories, communicate expectations, and recognize that you both are created for each other.

With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3

 

Much Love,

Natalie