And to think- I almost missed it.
There is something special about being a mother. We have the privilege of waking up each day and having an opportunity right in front of us to present the gospel to our children.
They are my primary mission field right now, and I do not take that for granted. I never want to lose sight of what my role is in their lives because they are gifts. I could never view them any other way.
After parenting for 24 years, I am convinced that God has used motherhood for the purpose of sanctifying me. I have found the promise of God’s grace on this journey. Even when I make mistakes, get grumpy, or slothful in my role, Jesus always meets me where I am at today to help me push forward.
Today, this was no exception. And I almost missed it.
I had a fairly long day yesterday (really, the past 5 weeks) and I was so tired this morning. I mean, like exhausted, cuddle up next to the fire, can’t stay awake kind of tired.
Everyone in the house was recovering from being sick and all I wanted to do was to go back to bed, rest my head on a pillow, and sink into the comfort of knowing that God has this all figured out ahead of me.
But I would have missed it.
All the clichés we hear about Christ being bigger than all of our “problems” we deal with from day to day can sometimes be something we just hear. And when we are weary or tired, it can be difficult to absorb Truth based solutions.
“Mommy, mommy! Look!” as she stuck her baby doll in front of my eyes. “Play dollhouse with me.” Pushing through the exhaustion to play felt like one more thing on the list. I didn’t really feel like playing and I certainly wasn’t hearing her heart.
“I really want to play with you mommy.” I looked at her, my seventh daughter, my tenth born child, and I simply smiled. Grace Natalie, give yourself grace in this area. “I love playing dollhouse with you baby girl!” and off we went.
Being an exhausted mother is a big problem. And not being attentive to the primary role God gave us is an even bigger one.
I would have been rested if I napped, but I can choose to go to bed earlier. If I had rested, I would have been a “happier” chef, laundry sorter, storyteller, teacher, & encourager, but I would have missed out on the most important parts of my day that are about Christ.
God has grown me.
And when I force myself to push through, the reward is the joy that swells in my heart after an afternoon spent well.
Nothing can replace those sweet conversations of the Bible stories we have read together. And when I asked her questions about what Jesus said, her reply, “Come follow me Peter.” And, “I can say to people God so loved the world.” I am so amazed at how much kids absorb just by hearing what their family says throughout the day. They repeat almost verbatim what adults and their older siblings talk about.
Dear mother, Christ does meet us where we are at and He is bigger than our overwhelm. He has proved this over and over in my life. He meets us on the good days and in the hard. Purposing to look for Him in these little moments of motherhood is what brings the most validation in my life that I am continuing to do what is right.
Those moments are there. If we can get past what is distracting us in the moment, we can see there is a far bigger picture than our immediate need of something else.
So today, I am grateful I didn’t miss it. I didn’t miss out on her smiles. I filled her love tank. And we had a conversation that was centered around Christ. That’s it! That was all God was requiring of me in that moment. “Come play dollhouse with me mommy.” And so, we played dollhouse.
Makes me want to cry because God cares.
His grace is sufficient for this journey. And being content in all of our weaknesses, in all of our flaws, and knowing His power rests upon us makes the journey of being a mother worth it.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Natalie