25 Things To Help Keep The Home Running Smooth
This generation of young women seem to be hungry to understand how mothers manage their home, raise kids that are well mannered, and keep all their ducks in a row.
In my opinion, there isn’t such a thing as “super woman” and we would be foolish to think we can achieve the status “I have this all figured out.” Anyone pretending differently is just not living in reality. And it would not be fair to the next generation to present it any other way.
Over the years, I have had young mothers giggling as they ask could they shadow me for a day. There is a lot of truth in humor and the young Natalie used to feel a lot of pressure with that request. I liked my privacy, not to mention, I had a lack of confidence. What could I possibly offer them that they didn’t already know?
I knew I needed to get out of my comfort zone to minister to other mothers if I were to ever grow closer in my walk with Christ. I decided to embrace hosting other families in our home.
What better learning environment for these young women, than a real-life, flawed homemaker. They could see that my life isn’t perfect, that they too could achieve exactly what they are after, and could become a part of the growing community of women who love their families.
My goal was to send these mothers back to their homes encouraged, hopeful, and with lower expectations of themselves and others.
The reality is, my hair is in a ponytail or braided most days. You’ll typically find me in an apron, kissing boo-boos, making sourdough pancakes, finding me buried in laundry, grading papers, and I most likely have some kind of baby poo or spit up that I am cleaning off my shirt. 🙂
My day is a balance of children training, baby nursing, baby-wearing, homesteading, schooling, training my girls how to manage the kitchen, and the normal keeping of my home as a ministry center. And none of these things are easy, but with time and practice you can do it.
I have found that the mothers who want to come spend the day with me are motivated by a couple of things. Number one, they have most likely not been trained or are not confident in how to be keepers of their homes (I can relate) and two, they are looking for direction that is absent in the church body.
I think I am officially starting to move into the Titus 2 area of teaching the younger generation of women. Mentorship was missing from my life as a young wife, and I feel called to be this to whomever crosses my path. This process of motherhood is sometimes a juggling act. At times we have to set the urgent down to focus on the priorities for the day. Other times, we have to be attentive to the pressing needs of people over projects.
Each one of us will have things to learn, times we fail, and seasons of victories. I continue to juggle balls, but I’ve learned how to be more productive and more efficient with what I have been given. It’s a process that I am still learning.
As experience has taught me, sometimes laundry has to wait until tomorrow. Some days, a nap is more important. But without the Lord’s help, I am nothing. I have learned to embrace each season as it comes with new opportunities, and its own set of challenges. Each season is different, all children have different needs, and if you have to stop everything else to tend to the priorities in your home, then your efforts will be worth the time invested.
My husband continues to remind everyone in our home that slow is fast, and this has especially been true for me. The specific challenges that are placed before us in each of our lives is precisely why we were put in this exact position, at this exact time in history, with the exact people in our life that allow us to accomplish God’s will.
This mission field we mamas have isn’t only an opportunity to minister to your child’s heart, but your purpose in life is to build a foundation for those sweet babies, to encourage them when they are weak, to nurture those weaknesses, and then watch those weaknesses become their strengths. Anyone else that comes through your door is only a bonus.
I know that preaches easy, but hang in there with me. I want to talk about mothers for a brief second.
When I met Jason, he had his relational priorities in order. He truly loves people. He is gentle, and has a heart for the lost and overlooked. I thank God for this every day. He came from a loving, safe home, had two parents who dearly love one anther, and together cared for their children’s needs. Bear with me; I’m getting to my point.
I wish you could meet his mother. To this day, she is her children’s best encourager. She helped them succeed in their strengths. Nurturing her family just seems to flow from her veins. She was also an elementary school teacher for 31 years.
When you have a mother that places her family’s needs above everything else, it creates a healthy environment for the entire family. Children need the balance of instruction, training, and correction in a home where there is safety, creativity, joy, and most of all love.
If I were to say that my transition to being married to him was welcomed, it would be an understatement! I longed to have a courageous leader in my life since I was a little girl. The young Natalie wanted permission to put the phone on silent, put the schedule aside for the ones who needed her most, and a gentle reminder to do what strengthens her family. And watching Jason’s mother speak life into her family brought tears to my eyes because I needed to hear that I was enough.
Most mothers I meet want their priorities in order, but the young Natalie felt guilted into overcommitting to the demands our fast pace world throws. It is so easy to let the world enter in the home and overtake our time, our mental capacity, and our children’s hearts. No worldly demands are worth any of those things. Not ever.
And to the mama who strives to be “super woman,” just because we can juggle a bunch of balls all at once for hours and hours, doesn’t mean we should. Wives need their husband’s help to set parameters on outside commitments so we are able to stand confident, and say no thank you to unnecessary pressures that tug at us.
Hear my heart. If I could take some of these demands off of you so you could rest in your God-given role, I would do it in a heartbeat.
One prayer I would have for my daughters when they are married is to not allow themselves to believe the lies from the world that they’ve got it all backwards by placing family ahead of a career. Satan is behind that attack on families and pushes the feminist agenda. And as keepers of our homes, we must fight against that nonsense. Being fully present to your family matters a lot.
Mama, the number one thing you need to be concerned with is your relationship to God. He is who you are accountable to. Second, you are a team in this life with the man you are married to. Don’t fight against that! Third, your children depend on you to teach, train, and care for their needs.
So take heart in trying to accomplish goals that are overwhelming you to the point where you are willing to throw in the towel on those three priorities. I promise that you will never regret implementing God’s design for the family unit, but you may regret succumbing to the agenda of the world.
With that being said, I will move right along to some practical things below. 🙂
For those who ask how I keep life running smooth and what the standard is that I operate under:
Below I have listed 25 things that help me stay focused when my husband is at work. Although I am never done learning, I thrive on building harmony in our daily lives, and this is the number one reason why I stand by each and every one of these.
- Keep each other accountable with a posted schedule. Kids thrive on routine and knowing what to expect.
- Do not fall into the trap of comparing yourself with the next homeschool mother. Comparison is a joy-killer! Your life will more than likely have different dynamics than hers.
- I try and keep my home in decent order. Do not start the day with chaos!
- The children have daily, weekly, monthly chores to help keep the home running smooth.
- The older children learn to not make the day about themselves. Investing in one another is important for making brothers and sisters best friends.
- Prayer, and lots of it! Things I pray for daily: creativity, restful nights, happy hearts, and protection from distractions that steal my focus off of Jesus.
- When a new baby comes, I tend to smaller gardens, have less responsibilities outside the home, etc. Mamas need their rest if they’re going to give of themselves.
- You are the gatekeeper of your home. Guard it with your life!
- Give yourself grace when it comes to teaching many children at once. Homeschooling took me a few years to get into a nice routine. What works for one mommy, doesn’t necessarily work for another.
- Failing is part of pressing on. Embrace it! Throw out what doesn’t work, find what does.
- Have books, music, and activities that are ONLY pure, lovely, and honoring to Christ. (I have many favorites linked on our resource page here)
- Give your children a vision of what their purpose is in the family. Having a clear direction is important to children too!
- Embrace the new patterns you are establishing in your home. Changes are a part of life. 🙂
- I am a strong believer in training your boys and girls early on what their role is in the family.
- Pick your curriculum wisely. Stand for Truth!
- Spend time in the Word. When we spend time with Jesus, it will spill from us over into our children. You cannot teach what you do not know.
- Memorize scripture out loud with your children. The devil cannot dwell where Jesus does.
- Have endurance in the face of difficulty. Don’t shrink from it.
- Pray for your boys to grow up to be Godly, masculine men and your girls to grow up to be Godly, feminine nurtures.
- When they are little, I first teach attentiveness, obedience, and self-control. Once those are established, then the other character traits can be taught.
- Jesus is your healer, comforter, and gives hope when you feel alone in the battle. Those days of battle will get easier with tools and time.
- Don’t forget to rejoice in the blessings surrounding you. Choose Joy!
- Keep a praise journal and read it out loud every year on Thanksgiving.
- Keep in mind that your children are going to sin and this is your opportunity to lead them to the gospel.
- Focus on their strengths while you gently nurture their weaknesses.
Be blessed. You matter mama!
Natalie